Let's pretend we are meeting for the first time, shall we? Let's see.
I will start by saying that my name is Jill, and I am a 34-year-old stay-at-home-mom of 3 young boys, ages 5, 2, and 2. Yes, those last two are the same age, and yes, they are twins. What is that you say? Oh, yes, of course, I do have my hands full.
How do I do it? Well, I don't know, I just do it I guess. I mean, I wasn't really given the choice, and well, I don't know. I guess I didn't think there was a return option.
What's that?
Yes, I choose to stay at home full time. If my husband had a choice, he'd prefer an extra income and a summer cabin to invest in. No, he doesn't make me stay at home. Are you kidding? I'm not fricking Caroline Ingalls. He doesn't make me do anything. Hell, he's lucky to have chicken nuggets and french fries on the table 3 or 4 nights of the week, when I'm sick of ordering Dominos.
Oh, yes. My boys are busy. All 4 of them. Let's see, my husband hunts, the boys want to be farmers when they grow up, my oldest loves hockey. Current favorite words are poop, butt, and fart. Oh, I know. I slap those little mouths here and there, but you know, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz say physical punishment is really no longer p.c., no matter how WE turned out. Oh...I know. I'd attach shock collars if it were allowed. Trust me. Some days a prison cell seems much more welcome and inviting over the messes I have to clean up around here! Trust me....
I shower at least once every two days, purchase my kids' birthday cakes from Walmart, (I don't have a steady hand for frosting), and I like to drink a couple of times a
Yes, you are correct. I really should get back to doing my household duties. I do have a load of laundry to fold, and dinner to start (sick of nuggets and pizza, trying something different tonight...Stouffers. Ever heard of it?)
Well, I do look forward to talking with you again soon. I promise not to judge you, if you don't judge me. I mean, I do realize that chances are you will with chat with your book club ladies tonight about this crazy woman you met today. The one with all the dirty boys, who looks like hell, and who can't even make her precious husband a decent dinner. And I'm sure that the next time you are talking with your neighbor about the alcoholic tendencies of the pastor's wife, you will make reference to a woman you just met who "Sure does like her booze at bedtime". But it's okay. I understand. We all need to vent sometimes, right?
And a free blogsite fits into the family budget a whole lot better than a psychiatrist. Because who are we kidding? Even the pastor has stated that he may have to start charging an hourly fee in the form of office volunteer help or something...
Okay, then. You have a nice day now, okay? Yes, yes, I will take care. Yep, you've got it, I'll keep these boys in line. Okay, now. Okay,
buh-bye.
